My adventure of being short-listed for a TEDx Talk

I’ve been on a big journey lately, applying for TEDx, being selected for the final round, preparing for the audition… and now I’m here to share my story and the results.

How did this TEDx idea come about?

Utterly spontaneously. No complicated decision making, no long thought processes, no months of inner deliberation. In October last year I saw a TEDx event advertised in my local community. I had no idea it was organised on my doorstep. A few weeks ago a thought entered my head, "I wonder when their applications close for the speakers of this year". I opened their website on my phone. The deadline was in two weeks...

Better crack on then!

Two days before the deadline I submitted my application. The next day I went on holiday to the Spanish sun. Last year they had almost 200 applications. For just 12 places. Oy, that's a lot of good ideas worth sharing on that famous red halo.

But it was out of my hands now, so I decided to enjoy the warm sunshine and see what happens..

Good news: I got short-listed!

A few days after coming back from my holiday, I received this email in my inbox:

Next step, let’s prep for a TEDx audition!

What I remember most of this part of the adventure, was being so conscious all along to feel the joy every second of the way, and this made the entire experience so rich and wonderful. I’m going to let the photos and videos do the talking for me here:

Enjoying Voice Coaching sessions with Pippa Wilson.

Picture taken two minutes before my audition, in my new outfit selected by Stylist Trudy Nabuurs. I was having a drink at the restaurant next door. Look at my radiant face!

Learning about a public speaking mindset by Judy Apps.

Projecting my voice into the distance

click image to enjoy the video

Evening before the audition

click image to enjoy the video

The evening before the talk as I was walking to move out some of that adrenaline I was reflecting on what a genuine joy it has been.

Step into my authority and own my expertise

Why did this TEDx audition mean so much to me?

This whole process has been an incredible learning experience for me. I feel like I've really been able to step up into an even fuller version of myself, a calm quiet sense of authority. There have of course been moments of nervousness (like: ‘will I remember my lines’, as you're supposed to do the entire thing without cues!), overwhelm (the application process was a lot of work, alongside my normal client hours), and more than a little imposter syndrome (other people take years to contemplate their TEDx Talk, and I literally decided to apply two weeks before the deadline!).

It’s been vulnerable and exposing - as I shared more about my own personal life story then ever before as a therapist, but more than that, it has been liberating, empowering and so joyful.

I have felt able to own a calm quiet sense of authority, it’s been a process of refining what it is I believe I am here to do, and to share more openly the stories that have shaped me. More to come on that in another blog.

And I loved the bottle of bubbles my husband bought for me as a surprise when I returned from my audition, to celebrate I was short-listed and got this far.

And then this happened…

When things don’t work out the way we imagine 

I didn’t get invited into the final speakers line-up this time. The talented curator and beating heart behind TEDx St Albans, Patricia Seabright, took the kind effort to sent me a separate message which read “It was such a hard choice this year, we genuinely wished we had a 2-day event! It comes down essentially to the right mix of topics and people in the final big picture. I did want to say specifically to you, that we thought your topic was interesting and you are clearly passionate about it and helping people. I also could tell all the work you put into the application process. Thanks so much for all you put into it, we appreciated you.”

When I heard from TEDx about their decision, I knew it was OK. This has been a perfect opportunity for me, in such a short time I’ve learnt and grown so much and I’m honestly delighted. I feel so good about this entire adventure…. If you follow me on my socials or newsletters, you know how excited I’ve been. So it may surprise to you to hear that I’m not disappointed.  

With hindsight, I know I got exactly what I needed from this journey. I actually felt a little relief at not being chosen. I knew that the time commitment, the nerves and the energy would have taken away from so much of the other work and things that are really important to me right now, so I can be genuinely peaceful about it. That’s not to say I wasn’t jealous for a moment of the shared experience of those who are going to live this adventure together, and my pride was a little hurt, but I could see the alignment and rightness of how it all unfolded. I made a spontaneous decision, had less than two handfuls of days to prepare my first application, and I got short-listed, did an official in-person TEDx audition, my confidence got a massive boost and I loved every moment of it… I mean, the entire thing was pretty amazing :)

Whilst that was my genuine experience and I’m grateful for it, I know for many of us when this kind of thing happens it might seem that reality doesn’t always live up to our expectations, the dreams we have for ourselves don’t always come to fruition when we think or hope they will, life sometimes goes in a different direction that in the first instance doesn’t always make sense. But at these times there is a deeper wisdom and knowing that we can lean into. One that offers us a greater peace and recognition that, in this present moment, all is indeed well.

I have really felt this throughout this journey, although I had no expectation of how it would turn out, being mindful in every moment to feel the joy of the process meant whatever the result would be OK with me. It liberated me to let go and be fully in the present moment. The richness of the journey has not escaped me and that is where I’m choosing to place my attention. 

"The real definition of success is not about reaching the destination, but in the amount of joy along the way."

-  ANONYMOUS  -

Cherry blossoms in the local park

This is where I was sitting when I received the wonderful news that I was short-listed for TEDx. They had over a hundred applicants, and I was selected together with nineteen others to do an in-person audition for the final twelve speaker spots.

An invitation and my personal prayer

So my offering today is an invitation really, to dream big regardless of the outcome. And for those times when disappointment might be present for you, when you’re struggling to make sense or when something you thought would be absolutely perfect doesn’t come to pass, the invitation is to look for the gift in the challenge, to hunt for the learnings with a curious and compassionate mind and to take what it is that life is actually offering you in this moment and embrace it. 

In my personal prayer I always add a tiny little extra line, with profound consequences. I ask for what it is that I want, then conclude with the words “or something even better”. In this case my prayer went like this: "May I stand on that bright red circle and share my TEDx Talk, or may something even better unfold." This leaves space for something outside my current awareness to arise, and whatever the outcome, I then trust it to be in my best interest.

Plus I pray for "May whatever happen be how I can be most of benefit to myself and to most sentient beings", which sets the intention of service, and takes the pressure off it being ‘all about me’. 

I hope you find a little inspiration in my journey and the reflections useful, thank you for allowing me the space to share. 

With much love, Karin xx

Click on image for video, taken just before my audition. I feel I received this gift, whether or not I stand on that famous red TED circle :)